I am a very capable person. I learn quickly, am probably a little too eager to please, and have zero problem with work that’s “beneath” me. But job hunting is kind of soul-crushing, isn’t it? I haven’t hunted like this since 2006, after I graduated. I spent five months applying to every job I even kind of thought I could do before I got hired on as an inventory manager with a local Austin company that was a terrible fit for me. That was a difficult year until I got randomly hired on without even an interview for the last company I worked for, and I loved it there. I was great there. Now I’m seven years out of the work force with things like bookkeeping for our small business and self-published authorship on my resume, and while I’ve maintained my skills and learned a few new things since, when I’m feeling my worst–like now–it all looks so shabby and I start wondering what even is the point?
Well, the point is to find work.
But to not get so caught up in the hunt that I forget the good things.
I’m fortunate. I don’t technically need a job. I want one, and I need it for my own sense of well-being and to ease my financial anxiety (there’s no feeling quite like realizing literally all of your money, all of your credit, all of your borrowing power, is sunk into one investment), but things are just tight right now, not dire.
My brain, of course, doesn’t realize that. It sees the bank account and goes so hard into panic mode I wonder if I need to go to the ER because I’m having a heart attack.
I’m taking a step back, at least for a couple of days. Limiting the applications and the Craigslist ads (if anyone is looking for a bookkeeper, btw, please let me know) and spending a little more time breathing. Regrouping. I’ll find work, because I always do, and I’ll find the job I want, because I pretty much always get what I want even if it means changing what I want.
Also, here’s a video of the Chippendales Gladiators show. Obviously NSFW but I’m not at work right now, anyway.